La Pergola Will Be the Best Meal of Your Life

By Ari Kane, Photographs by Daniella Veras

The über brilliant German Chef Heinz Beck has impacted culinary history in a profoundly gifted manner. Chef Beck’s Three Star Michelin restaurant La Pergola is a gastronomic haven of unparalleled degree. Beck and his ridiculously talented team of 20 create masterpieces that fuse exquisite art, brilliant culinary science and the most delectable food on the planet to create the finest meal you most likely will ever experience.

There was actually a 50% chance that La Pergola would not even exist. Heinz has a twin brother who also wanted to be a chef. Their father did not want both of them to become chefs, so he decided to flip a coin to let fate determine who would be allowed to follow their dream. Fortunately for us and all of La Pergola’s blessed patrons, Heinz prevailed and created the treasured jewel that is La Pergola in the beautiful city of Rome.

The 9-course tasting menu (220 Euros) is a gift that all who can must bestow upon their palates. It will not merely be the most striking gastronomy you ever sample, but it will also be a ravishing art show, a scientific learning experience and a marvelous, one-of-a-kind production from start to finish.

La Pergola boasts an extensive water menu with over 25 selections. We chose a naturally carbonated water from a nearby Italian city instead of the 120 Euro water that was made by some Hollywood producer and can only be purchased at a few outlets around the world.

The 9-course menu opened with a Duck Foie Gras with Apple, Almond and Amaretti that was decidedly the best bite of food that the Hedonist ever tasted. The apples and almonds were perfect additions to tame the foie creating an oral symphony of epic proportions. The Hedonist, a lover and purveyor of enthralling foie has sampled it across three continents, but none were ever executed so miraculously. If you ever find yourself on death row, this is one of the plates you should request before meeting your maker.

Eden is an artistic and gorgeous plate inspired by Japanese Watercress Gardens. The garden was designed with aqua green tapioca balls and mangos, papayas, black caviar and Venus clams strewn across it as decorative flowers. The Hedonist use to scoff at people that claimed food was art until this extraordinary plate made his eyes pop out from the sheer masterful beauty. It is perhaps even too sexy to eat, but please put it in your mouth anyways because the amazing waiters will wait as long as you need to finish it.

The Fagotelli “La Pergola” as the name suggests is one of this haven’s most prominent dishes. It is not actually on the tasting menu, but if you kindly request they can supplant another dish with it. It is a sensational goody that packs a literal explosion of scrumptiousness in your mouth. They appear as if they are simply regular pasta purses but they have been engineered to surprise and delight.  The way that it is prepared creates a pocket of air in the purses that flavorfully explodes when bitten into with the enchanting tastes of bacon, egg and pecorino cheese. They create this by placing carbonara mousse in the pasta purses and then dipping them in hot water for a minute to solidify it.  We could have eaten hundreds of these magical purses.

The Cod with Broccoli and Salt Cod Snow was another astute and delicious creation. It contained a very subtle cod flavor with a nice zest at the end. The succulent cod is meant to be eaten in tandem with the salt cod snow which is essentially iced cod. The salt cod snow was absolutely brilliant. It had a cold and smooth magnificent cod flavor that baffled yet delighted our senses. It was our first brush with “fish gelato” (Fishato?) making us wish Baskin Robbins expanded into seafood flavors.

The Loin of Lamb with Mint Sauce and Pecorino Puff was the most perfect and tender lamb we have ever experienced. It is not part of the tasting menu but we highly recommend you order it. A supple and velvet-like texture soothed and graced our mouths like no other slice of meat. La Pergola utilizes baby lambs from southern Italy. We are not sure if they have been massaged from birth like real Kobe Cows, but no lamb we ever had has been this soft and tasty.

The Cheese Trolley had a plethora of exotic, aged and fancy cheeses that were served with jam, as well as a celestial fruit and nut bread concoction. Our favorite cheese among them was the 24 month aged Parmesan.

Just when you think it cannot get any better, the Grand Dessert commences. A glorious silver tower was delivered to us with over a dozen drawers filled with confectionery samples of apple tarts, sugar cookies, sugared fruit log, chocolates and many, many more treats. The Robiola Mousse was the most attractive dessert plate we have ever witnessed and it looked like it was having a party. Robiola is a soft ripened cheese made of both goat and sheep’s milk. The plate was comprised of a tantalizing mix of textures and flavors. The superbly potent strawberry sorbet, white chocolate cannelloni tubes, combined with robiola mousse and topped with decorative white sprinkles made of white olive oil powder. They merged together to create a brand new, sterling confection that bewitches your mouth. The meticulous craftsmanship and colors of this sensational dessert are both mesmerizing and mind blowing.

The Iced Sphere of Red Fruit on Tea Cream with Crystallized Raspberries was another epic dessert.  We will not give too much away but it is a ball of red fruit juices with deliriously sweet sugar encrusted raspberries. Not only was it phenomenal, but it was loads of fun to eat. It was another exceptional dish in taste, appearance and technique.

Dining at La Pergola will induce an irrevocable change in your palate. Most food critics will tell you to make La Pergola your final meal in Italy, so you will still have the capacity enjoy the other fantastic restaurants all across the country. While we are in concurrence with that tip, we urge you to secure your reservation at all costs. Whether it be taking out a mortgage, borrowing from a loan shark or renting out your wife or kids for a little — trust us, it is worth the price. Remember to book wayyyyyy in advance (months!!) and grab any spot you can because this will be the greatest meal of your hallowed existence.